COVID-19 is raging throughout the American South right now, including in Florida, and that’s largely because we haven’t all been pulling in the same direction in order to save as many people (and fetuses, mind you) as possible. Instead, we’ve drifted into separate pro-human and pro-COVID camps, and needless to say, DeSantis is the king of COVID Country.
Well, CNN’s Jim Acosta has noticed, and he’s come up with a great idea: Instead of using dreary Greek letters, why not name new COVID-19 variants after the Republican governors who’ve been their biggest boosters?
For the nontweeters:
ACOSTA: “The other day, and we’ve been talking about this this afternoon, an 11-month-old girl in Texas, another hard-hit state, had to be flown 150 miles away for treatment because hospital beds are full in her town. People should not have to die so some politicians can own the libs. They’re not owning anybody, but they may end up owning the pandemic, because they’re prolonging it. Perhaps it’s time to start naming these new variants that may be coming out after them. Instead of the delta variant, why not call it the ‘DeSantis variant’? We could sell beer koozies that say ‘Don’t Florida My Fauci’ and use the money to help pay for all of the funerals that will be coming in the days to come.”
I love it. And if the World Health Organization isn’t on board, I don’t see why the rest of us can’t adopt this system; “delta” is already kind of close to “DeSantis,” after all.
“Oh, crap. I think I may have been exposed to DeSantis.”
“The COVID variant or the governor? Either way, you’ll need to take a long, hot Silkwood shower tout de suite.”
I know, I know. It’s not all that likely that the name will stick, but then that’s probably what Rick Santorum thought, too. And we all saw how that worked out.
Internet, go do that voodoo that you do so well. We can make DeSantis’ name notorious—or more infamous than it is now, anyway.
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